Salad for Two

I went walking with Heather this morning wearing my brand new shoes and I was able to walk with no pain. Wahooooo!! It was marvelous and I so need to keep up a routine now. It keeps me from going to bed and sleeping forever.

I went to see mom last night before I went to bed just to check on her. She was awake but really not coherent. She would mumble things that I didn't understand. I sat with her for awhile and then kissed her good night and went home. This morning when I went down she was awake again but didn't know who I was and that was alright with me. I told her that if her mom came to get her to go with her. She very plainly said she would go. I told her that there were tons of people waiting for her on the other side and just couldn't wait for her to get there. She just kept staring at the ceiling mumbling something. I am convinced she is having conversations with someone. Wendy was there and I talked with her for awhile. She said usually when they quit eating it's about 3 to 4 days and they get a fever and then go. But she said with my mom you never know because she doesn't do things like everyone else. I feel at peace.

Check out the salad I made for my lunch. I really couldn't eat it all. It was enough for two. I think I will use a smaller plate from now on. Heather brought some pretzel thingys to put on our salad and I gotta say they are delish. I think she got them at Winco in Orem.
John and I took my car up Payson Canyon to see if it overheats still. Tommy has tried to fix it but evidently what he has tried doesn't work as it did overheat. So next week we will have to figure that one out. Can't think about it right now.
This is going to be the longest post ever but I really have to get this down so I will remember the tender mercies of Heavenly Father. I went down again to see mom and when I went in to see her an Aide was changing her. She told me that mom had eaten a couple of bites for lunch and that she had eaten all her breakfast. I was concerned and called Wendy to tell her. She said they should not be feeding her as she wasn't able to swallow good enough to eat. Water was good but not food. She called an order into the nurse's station telling them not to feed. As I was walking by the nurse stopped me and said she didn't realize you could stop feeding residence. I just started shaking and crying. I felt so bad that I was denying my mom food. So I went back into mom's room and cried some more and just started praying if I was doing the right thing. I have always strived to give my mom the best care and I wasn't sure this was it. I called Wendy and left a message for her to call me and left to go home as mom was fast asleep. I just kept thinking about it and decided I was turning around and going back and telling them to keep feeding her. As I walked into the building Jason (the administrator) came out of his office and ask how I was doing. I just told him I had no idea if I was doing the right thing or not. Should I keep having them feed her or not. He took me down to mom's room and took one look at mom and said "she shouldn't be eating. She will aspirate it into her lungs and it won't be good." I can't tell you what relief I felt. I just thanked Heavenly Father for an instant answer to prayer when I needed it so bad. Mom was wheezing again so I knew he was right. Susan Tuckett had went down this morning just to check on mom and she said the Spirit was very strong in the room and mom just kept looking at the ceiling and having a conversation with whoever was up there. She said she would mumble something and then listen and then mumble something and then listen. I am at peace again.
Grateful Statement: I am so grateful for Wendy and Jason who were Heavenly Father's voice for me today. I know they were sent to help this all along and give me comfort and peace.
Alma 40 - Alma 41  I love the part about the righteous going to paradise, especially at this time when my mom is so close to paradise. No wonder she stares at the ceiling and talks with spirits.