Toughest Lady on The Block

I went walking with Heather and Gerrie this morning. I was very tired so it was hard but I did it and that's the most important thing. After walking I went down to mom's and met with the Hospice nurse Wendy. She sat with me until noon and we just talked and watch mom. We took off her oxygen and Wendy monitored it to make sure it wasn't distressing her in any way. Funny thing is it made no difference. Her levels stayed the same all morning. She was totally out of it and non-responsive all day. I would go home for an hour and come back and never any change. I had a slight come apart with the aides that took 2 hours to fix her position after moving her on her back. I had to apologize for my bad behavior because I could have handled it better. It was just a little hard listening to her not breathing for a long period of time and then starting again. I always wondered if she would start to breathe again. Then I went into the bathroom to pour out some water and they had put her wheel chair in there. For some reason the sight of that just made me cry. I thought of all the times I had taken her out in the sunshine when she was blue so she could feel the sun on her face. But all and all it was just a couple of rough spots today. I am now home and going to get some sleep and wait for the call. I just am feeling lots of stress for some reason. You know when you know you just can't handle anything. Maybe it won't be so bad tomorrow.
Grateful Statement: Today I am again grateful for the caring, wonderful nurse Wendy is. She sat with me for 4 hours today and expained what to expect and what things meant. It made it easier to watch mom when I understood what was going on.
Alma 49 - Alma 50  I love the example of how when we follow God and keep the commandments we are watched over.